


Lovers Instead

by Hazel_Inle



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Hux is an asshole, Lots and lots of references, M/M, angst with fluff, dont get him mad though, feel the feels!, fluff buff, kylo ren is a dork but also a sweetie, mitaka is a literal cinnamon roll, to both the movie and the fandom in general
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 03:18:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8270564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazel_Inle/pseuds/Hazel_Inle
Summary: Hux needs something in his life other than his reflection and shadow to keep him company. so when he sees an ad in the paper for kittens, he immediately jumps at the chance. however, after meeting the beautiful owner of said kittens and his dramatic roommate, who is pining for a local caffe owner, Hux finds his life transforms into a sitcom worthy of television.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [White_Rainbow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/White_Rainbow/gifts).



> White rainbow, you have waged a sin-fluff war. This is my retaliation from le FLUFF BUFF. I don't mess around. XD

**_ Lovers Instead _ **

_Five years is a long time to be in love…_

Armitage Jarrous Hux never really thought much on companions beyond the animal kind. That was why he supposed he had Millicent. Many commented that in his case, the pet resembles the owner. With her ever present angry face and bright orange fur that needed to tended to every day, Hux couldn’t help but secretly agree. Regardless, he did not think that Millicent was enough. Not compared to the man who gave her to him.

_Him…_

He had gotten her from him over five years previously, after seeing an ad in the newspaper about a litter of two-month-old kittens that were house trained. When he had contacted the owner, Hux was almost disgusted by the perfectly depressed voice on the other end. Regardless, he stated his business as though he were speaking to an editor or publisher.

“Hold on,” the man drawled before yelling across the other end in an overly pissed off tone that made Hux cringe. People being unnecessarily loud was like nails on a chalkboard to him.

“Yes?” a new voice came, this one far more pleasant.

“My name is Hux, and I saw your ad in the paper about kittens for sale.”

“Oh, they’re not for sale, I’m giving them away.” Regardless of how warm the voice sounded, Hux was shocked by this new piece of information. “So you’re interested?”

“Er…yes! Yes, I am.” He cursed himself internally at how he lost his professionalism.

There was a quick exchange in which the owner gave his address with a time, and name.

Dopheld Mitaka.

_It seems I am not the only one saddled with a strange name…_

He arrived there punctually, and was unimpressed by the neighborhood. It really was just a series of middle class apartments and coffee shops everywhere. He had been there in the district to discuss book deals with his agent over coffee plenty of times.

Hux came upon the address and rang once.

One look at the man that came down the steps of the apartment building made Hux wish he had pepper spray and a Taser. Oversized in every way visible, the stranger narrowed his black eyes, showing off the makeup made dark circles.

“Who the fuck, are you?” he snapped with venom. Hux eyed his black wardrobe that covered his entire body (though ripped in plenty of places) and many tattoos and piercings. This must that first person who answered the phone.

“Hux,” he responded. “I’m here to speak with Dopheld Mitaka.”

The other man eyed him up and down before scoffing.

“You’re even more of a stick up the ass in person than over the phone.”

“Ah, so you _do_ remember!” Hux mocked surprise.

“Wut?”

“I was concerned that you smoked too many Mary Janes to be competent.”

The man slumping against the railing was on his feet in an instant.

“Listen here you bast-“

“Hux?”

At the sound of his name, he looked beyond the wall of muscle to get his first look at Dopheld Mitaka.

He too had black hair, but his entire countenance was far more reserved and conservative. Doe eyes, expressive lips, soft but masculine features…these things Hux found himself desperately appreciating.

“Hey, if you are done eye-fucking him!” the annoyance snarled, snapping in front of his face. Hux grabbed his wrist angrily.

“Do that to someone else,” he commanded. The pest was about to argue, when Dopheld Mitaka’s voice cut in like salvation.

“Kylo, didn’t you say that you wanted the new pumpkin spice stuff from Phasma?”

_Why does that name sound familiar…?_

“Kylo’s” eyes glared at Hux.

“Yeah…” he muttered, pointing his two first fingers from his eyes to Hux a couple times, before stalking off.

“He’s not so bad,” Dopheld Mitaka defended with a tired sigh. “He just hates everyone he meets at first.”

“How is that _not so bad_?”

“It’s a part of his aesthetic. I cannot judge,” he shrugged.

“I think the feeling is mutual,” Hux muttered.

“Hm?”

“I think I hate him too.”

“Oh. Well he’s my roommate so…”

“So move out.”

Phel laughed and held open the door for Hux with a bright smile.

“Trust me, if I had a dollar for every time my friends told me that…”

The statement was left hanging as the pair moved up the stairs and down a hallway. The apartment that Dopheld Mitaka lived in was a mixture of ordered chaos. Some parts had clothes, papers and books piled high on every surface. Others were spotless and organized. Most of the apartment looked as though it were split right down the middle.

Hux raised a brow.

“I take the laundry, papers, and literary works are not yours?” Hux muttered. The other chuckled, unashamed.

“Kylo’s like that. I’d be bothered if he left food trash around, but he doesn’t.”

The smiling man went into the next room for a moment, and returned with a few kittens in his hands, the mother cat trotting behind him. The mother looked absolutely incredulous that her children were being given away, but it also could be the naturally angry face that she sported because of her breed. Her long white and grey hair like fur swished with every elegant step she took.

Dopheld Mitaka set them down on the clean side of the couch for Hux to appraise. The mother likewise came to the couch in order to kiss each of her children, tiny mews emitting from the small fluff balls.

Hux looked over each. Two were white like their mother, and one was completely grey. The last was bright orange, and instead of play fighting with the others, it stood off to the side and looked around, occasionally pawing at the couch cushion.

“This one, I think.”

Dopheld Mitaka chuckled and nodded.

“I had a feeling you would take her.”

“Her?”

“Yes. Good thing, because male cats have a tendency to wander more.”

After discussing the particulars about the breed of cat his new pet was, and how to care for a cat, “Millicent” was placed in a box with a small bag of food and a paper that had notes.

“I have a question, Mr. Mitaka,” Hux said as he was seen out.

“Please, Phel is fine.”

“Phel…” Hux tried the word on his tongue. It was savory. “Why would you just give them away? Instead of selling them?”

Phel’s eyes widened at the question but shrugged a shoulder.

“Why should people pay for a friend?” was his simple reply.

Hux found he didn’t have a response to that.

In the course of three months, Millicent turned from “new roommate” to “don’t touch my little baby.”

It was nice to come through the door and see her trot up to him with an air of self-righteousness, rubbing against his legs in affection. He would scoop her up after setting his items away in their proper place, and snuggle her scrunched up face with his nose, a strange form of endearment that was odd for Hux to indulge in. However, he wasn’t so much snuggling her face as he was snuggling the memory of that sweet man he got her from.

Every time Millicent would curl up with him, he vaguely if Phel ever held her like he did now. Every time she would sleep beside him in a ball, he wondered if Phel let her, and perhaps even pet her in her sleep.

It took over his mind enough to the point where he started writing about him. At first, it was just a simple characteristic that popped up on the side every now and again in his works. Later, it became a personification that was mentioned once in a while. Now it was a main character with an entire story to tell.

_Was it wrong? Was it too much?_

No, he would tell himself every time.

_Writers restore order though their work. If we are not satisfied with the way things were, we can change them. At least in literature._

He wanted to see Phel again, and have some excuse to talk with him. But as it stood, he had nothing.

“Meow.”

_Except Millicent._

This was how he found himself at the doorstep of the apartment complex which Phel and is abominable roommate lived he was about to ring when a sweet sound met his ears.

“You looking for someone?”

Hux turned to see Phel walking towards the apartment steps with a brown grocery bag in one arm, keys in the other. Hux’s heart raced at the sight of him. He very much remained the same, though perhaps with more layers of clothing and pink complexion from the snow.

“You, actually,” Hux said. Phel’s eyes widened.

“Oh? Why?” he questioned curiously.

“Research. I write books and one of my characters took care of a pregnant cat.”

“Sounds interesting,” Phel laughed, smiling. “So you need info?”

“Yes, if you are willing?”

“Of course!”

Phel waved for him to follow him up, which surprised Hux to no end. Regardless, he didn’t wish to look a gift horse in the mouth. He soon retracted that statement when he entered the apartment. Either Kylo multiplied through mitosis, or he had a whole gang of people who looked acted and even talked the same as him. Phel sighed, putting the groceries away silently as the newcomers lounged here and there. Hux tried to sneak by, but the one in the middle of the pile of delinquents sat up and glared.

“ _You!”_ he accused.

“Me,” Hux replied in dismissal, following Phel to the kitchen. Phel looked right at Kylo.

“He’s not staying, Kylo. We were just going to go for coffee.”

_We are?_

“Good. I don’t like his face.”

The others seemed to agree, Kylo obviously being the “master”. Hux rolled his eyes.

_Typical of his type. Decide their entire personality based off the fact they don’t like their face…_

“And I don’t like his writing.”

Hux froze and turned around to stare at Kylo’s smirk.

 _“Excuse me?”_ he snarled through grit teeth.

“You heard me. I don’t know _why_ Snoke favors you, but-”

“I know _exactly_ who you are!” Hux interrupted, narrowing his eyes. Behind him Mitaka stiffened.

“You’re that sodding poetry writer who laments about how ‘torn apart’ you are and how you wish to ‘finish what your grand-uncle started’!”

“That is my _grandfather,_ and it’s better than the cheap dollar store novels that you write! What was your last one about, a military overlord who destroyed five countries with his cheesy named superweapon, Sunfucker?”

“It was _Starkiller_ , and I get more revenue than you do!”

“Ok, that’s enough!” Phel butted in, sliding between the two men, whom didn’t notice that they were practically nose to nose.

“You _both_ are talented writers, though perhaps not in the same genre. Therefore, you really cannot make a comparison.”

Kylo snorted and went back to the couch with an irritated face, his companions soothing him with words of encouragement, and agreeing with his sentiments on Hux’s work and manners. Hux was pulled away by Phel, grabbing a sweater as he went.

“How do you stand him?” Hux asked as they walked down the steps.

“I’ve learnt to get along with him,” came the calm reply. Phel seemed relieved to be out of the situation, though.

“Does he ever get violent?” Hux demanded.

“Why would you say that?”

“His writing suggests it.”

“Oh. Well, yes, he used to.” Phel shrugged as though it were not an issue. Hux grabbed his shoulder.

“ _Used to?”_ he demanded as he made Phel stop walking. Phel met his gaze with a stern eye.

“Look, he used to be in a bad place and writing is his way of getting past that,” he explained with annoyance.  “His grandfather was that best-selling poet under the pseudonym ‘Vader,’ and was the only member of his family that seemed to try and understand him. It’s a sensitive subject and I would appreciate it if you don’t mock something you don’t understand. You can stir up anyone else for all I care, but I have to _live_ with him.”

Hux frowned as Phel turned away.

“I apologize, Phel,” Hux said. “I was not thinking.”

“Just don’t do it again. _Try_ and get along with him please.”

Hux couldn’t help but disregard the point to that sentiment, since the undertone suggested that they _would_ see each other again.  He attempted to reign in the excited skip in his step as they entered one of the coffee shops.

At the counter stood a very tall and burly platinum blonde woman. She rivaled Kylo in size and strength, though she was far more respectable to look at. She snapped her fingers at a barista who was taking a peek at his phone, successfully making him fumble with the device between his fingers. The screen flashed a very attractive man with brown locks, tanned skin, bright smile, and Shiba Inu on his shoulders, before he shoved the phone back into his pocket with a blush.

“Look at your boyfriend on your own time, Finn,” the woman snapped. “You’re here to work, not socialize on your phone.”

Hux decided he liked her.

“Hey Phasma,” Phel greeted, walking up to the counter. Phasma gave a crooked grin.

“Hey, Phel. Kylo brought his ‘knights’ over again?”

“Yeah, but they’ll be gone by closing, so no worries.”

“Good. If not, that’d be the fourth time you’d crash at my place this week. Unless you plan on staying at that tall drink of water behind you.”

“What?” Hux and Phel replied in shared confusion. Phasma rolled her eyes.

“Name, Ginger?”

“Hux.”

Phasma raised a brow and straightened her stance.

“Armitage Hux? One of Snoke’s writers?” she inquired with interest.

“I do write for him occasionally, yes. And I go by just Hux, thank you,” Hux replied stiffly.

“Good. Because I can imagine the regrettable nicknames you got in school.”

“I will tip well if I am not reminded of said regrettable nicknames,” Hux muttered. Phasma heard him and grinned wolfishly.

“I like him,” she decided. “Usual, Phel?”

“Please.”

“Hux?”

“Black coffee.”

“I know someone else who takes their coffee black too…much like his soul.”

“It would do well for your tip to not remind me of _him_ as well,” Hux added snidely. Phasma smirked in triumph but didn’t anything else. Hux tipped anyway.

They had come to an understanding. Phel guided him to a table by the window, away from most of the patrons.

“So what do you want to know?”

Hux had almost forgotten about the whole point of the meeting, but recovered quickly, retrieving a notepad.

When he had gotten by all the basic queries, he started dragging the meeting out in case Phel decided he wanted to leave once their conversation was over, despite the armada of goth people at his apartment.

Phasma came by with water right around the time Hux was asking for the temperature of the room when the kittens were born. She winked at him as she left. He cocked an eyebrow, but realized that the napkin that she placed under his drink had a message scrawled on the corner closest to him.

_“Just ask him about him already! ;)”_

Hux swallowed his snort at the emoji, but looked up into Phel’s eyes. He did want to know more about him…

“Do you still have the mother?” Hux asked, thinking it may be another excuse to see him again. Reunite Millicent with her mother perhaps?

“No, I had to give her to one of Kylo’s friends,” Phel’s face fell. “Landlord doesn’t allow pets, but he let me keep her until she gave birth and the kittens could be given away.”

“How did you come by her, then?”

“I found her in the alleyway between my complex and that video rental store. Starving, poor thing.”

“How did Kylo take it?”

“More than happy to take her in, actually,” Phel responded with a smile. “Wrote several poems about her. Called her Padme after his grandmother.”

“I’m sorry you couldn’t keep her…” he then got an idea. “you know, I don’t live far from here. If you ever want to see Millicent, I’m sure she would love to see you.”

He instantly regretted saying it out loud.

_Have you no filter on how creepy that sounded? At the very least you sound like a crazy cat person. At the most, you sound like a predator._

“On second thought, that’s hardly appropriate,” Hux muttered. Phel chuckled and shook his head.

“Terrible,” he agreed, undeterred. Hux found himself head over heels in an instant with that partially open lipped smile.

That was five years ago.

Ever since then, he had met Phel at least once a week in Phasma’s coffee shop in their designated table, rain or shine. No matter how horrible his day or week had been, Phel never failed to lift his spirits.

Somehow, the days seemed to be brighter, more colorful, more substantial. Each had their purpose. Positivity came easier, and so did understanding of others. When he used to look at Kylo, he used to think of every ill word he knew to describe him.

One conversation with Phel on the matter changed that instantly, and was only solidified under consideration and first-hand experience. He still remembered the exchange with the broken roommate.

He had arrived at Phel’s complex early, just as Kylo was coming down a side street.

“You’re rudely early,” the taller brute growled.

“It’s better than late,” Hux defended. Kylo snorted before unlocking the door, which he held open.

“You look stupid standing outside like that.”

Hux made no response, and followed him up the stairs. When they entered the apartment, Hux stopped himself from wrinkling his nose in distaste at the chaos of the place.

“Sit down, I guess.” Kylo muttered as he picked up a notebook and pen, lounging sideways across an armchair. Hux found a clean spot and did so.

They were in silence with the exception of the air conditioning in the corner and the scratching of Kylo’s pen on the pad.

“You do not have a computer?” Hux asked, and instantly regretted it when Kylo glared at him murderously.

“Not all of us are pompous rich snoots,” he snapped angrily.

“I was not trying to jest, I assure you.”

“Why not? You always do.”

“Not for the past six months, I have not.”

Kylo stopped scrawling on the pad and eyed him.

“Because you never talk to me.”

“I have been thinking,” Hux explained.

“Dangerous,” Kylo muttered.

“I believe we have gotten off on the wrong-“

“I hate you,” Kylo snapped suddenly, not letting him finish. “I hate your face, that stick up your ass and even your Rolex watch.”

“It’s your right to,” Hux shrugged.

“Shut up. I’m making a point.” Kylo turned in his seat so he was sitting properly. “I may hate you and wish that you fall into the nearest dumpster, _but_ Phel likes you for some unknown reason. I get that, so whatever. Maybe he does to you what he does for me.”

 _That_ caught Hux’s attention.

“And just _what_ does he do for you?” he demanded, his mind immediately thinking very lewd thoughts, the cursed organ.

“He’s the light I talk about.”

They both were silent for a moment at the relieving revelation, Hux breaking it to ask.

“You’re not…you don’t want to-”

“Nah he’s not my type. Too skittish.” Kylo returned to his lounging. “hes more of the brother I wanted. Found me and brought me here. Haven’t left since.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Not like I’m freeloading though. I pay rent and stuff.”

“Phel mentioned writing is more of a therapy for you.”

Kylo tensed, looking at Hux out of the corner of his eye.

“What?”

“He didn’t say what, but I do understand to an extent. I write to restore order.”

“You write novels about people killing each other.”

“About face, yes. But I focus more on the emotions and social aspects of the situation, leaving it open to discussion.”

“How the hell does that restore order?”

“It does by stripping conformity and allowing opinions to be made. That, and if I don’t like something I see, I can write it in my books in the way I wanted.”

“Like writing Phel as your boyfriend?”

Hux tensed and he could practically hear Kylo’s smirk.

“That’s-”

“Secret’s safe with me, General,” Kylo cut him off. “you better get on it though.”

“Why?”

“Phel’s popular.”

“No I am not!”

The new voice that joined them made both men jump in surprise. Phel was wiping sweat off his brow as he came into the living area, in what was obviously his workout clothes.

“What other lies have you been telling him?” he asked Kylo jokingly.

“That you jaywalk and do step on the cracks of the sidewalk. Your poor, poor mother…how many times has she broken her back because her son wouldn’t stop-”

“Alright, Kylo, you are officially not getting my cinnamon rolls,” Phel laughed.

“But you said you’d bake them for when my friends come over tomorrow!” Kylo cried, sounding very much like he was whining. Hux’s eyes widened.

“You know very well that I don’t make that promise in case you push my buttons, which you did. So no cinnamon rolls,” his roommate announced definitively, walking to the back room in a sure sign that the conversation was over, and not open for further argument. Kylo slumped further into his seat, his lower lip jutting out in what was so obviously a pout. Hux couldn’t help the chuckle.

“Don’t you laugh! His cinnamon rolls are what make the earth go ‘round!”

“Magnetic forces from the sun and gravity do, not icing and cinnamon coated dough that’s baked in rolls.”

“You obviously haven’t tasted his, then,” Kylo replied dispassionately. “Picture the best orgasm in your life, multiply it times ten, and it’s in your mouth.”

Phel came out from the side room in a T-shirt, though he kept his running shorts. Hux secretly was thankful of that. If he had worn his one pair of jeans, Hux would have to fight with his self-control in order to refrain from grabbing a handful of his cute behind.

“Kylo, you’re not doing my rolls any good by comparing them to an orgasm,” Phel reprimanded.

“Why not? Gives just as much joy as one,” Kylo smirked.

“Aaannd we’re leaving,” Phel decided, pulling Hux to the door. Hux didn’t need to be told twice, though as he was leaving, he caught a glimpse of Kylo pulling the “im watching you” motion with his two first fingers again. Hux couldn’t help but shake his head in dismissal of the gesture.   He truly was an “older brother” figure in a sense.

Hux had never felt so well off in his life.

The seasons passed by effortlessly, and so did the building of their friendship. Phel and Hux grew attached in ways that gave the latter hope, though the former was as clueless as ever. Hux didn’t mind that at first, but grew ever more impatient with every moment spent with him. As the times in which it would seem proper to ask for more came by, Hux found himself more and more desperate to take the opportunity in stride. Regardless, something always came amiss.

Once it was Kylo walking in with one of his friends, cursing someone under his breath named “Han Solo.” Another time it was that Barista named Finn, who interrupted to ask Phel how he should tell Phasma that he was quitting to go work with his boyfriend.

Even worse was the occasion in which editor and publisher, Snoke, called him to demand an important meeting with themselves and Kylo Ren (which turned out to not be so important; famous journal and self-help writer, Luke Skywalker, decided to start the notoriously annual “Luke goes AWOL” scavenger hunt early and disappeared off the face of the earth, successfully missing his writing deadline and leaving behind no communication information except a half-assed map drawn on the art app in his phone that he lovingly calls “R-2”, which no one could open because his phone was locked and on low battery).

That was only three days ago.

Hux could not help but feel stressed about the entire affair, though Phel seemed more than happy to assist in any way he possibly could. That included, but not limited to, his cinnamon rolls, which turned out to be _exactly_ as Kylo said.

“I just don't understand it,” Phel said, taking the batch of heavenly sweet treats out of the oven with his Christmas colored oven mitts with reindeer and Santa faces. “Why would Snoke ask both of you?”

“As you know, Luke is Kylo’s uncle, so obviously he should be involved,” Hux replied, reaching over to try and snag one. Phel swiped a mitt at his hand, batting him away. “As to me, I have resources in lots of places, so he told me to call upon anyone that may know something.”

“True, I suppose. But if Skywalker decides to up and leave, why does Snoke make it a large deal?”

“Because Luke has been threatening to reopen his own publishing office.” Hux sighed. “Apparently the last one was shut down by lack of writers submitting according to Snoke. And ever since Luke mentioned it, he disappears once a year to make the rest of us run after him. It’s all rather silly, actually. Best leave it to the family and the police.”

Phel paused at the word.

“Police? And you mean _Padawan Publishing & Co._?”

Hux nodded, noting the hesitation.

“Yes and yes. Police because its technically a missing man. Not even his family knows. And I know, an odd name, isn’t it?”

“Yes…” Phel murmured. “But I was thinking of something else.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. But…” Phel faltered. “I-It didn’t go out of business, Hux.”

“What do you mean?”

Phel was silent before looking at Hux with one of the most severe expressions he had ever seen before on his friend.

“You know how I said that Kylo writes for therapy?”

“Yes?”

“Well…he got into a lot of trouble when he was younger and his parents sort of dumped him on Luke, not knowing what else to do. And he…well, he was often at the publishing place and he…well…”

Phel trailed off completely. Hux leaned in to listen closer, but Phel had stopped talking entirely. He shook his head in refusal and grabbed the icing container.

“I can’t, Hux. It’s not for me to tell. The point is that he isn’t that person anymore and that’s all that matters.”

“Kylo said you found him and took him in.”

“I…I did, yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I knew he wasn’t some monster in a cage!” Phel exploded, slamming the icing container down, making the frosty stickiness go everywhere. Hux jumped, but it did not save him from getting splattered. He dared to look at Phel’s face and instantly regretted it; the beginnings of tears had formed in the brim of his eyes, and were threatening to break free.

“I’m sorry…” Hux murmured, wiping the icing off himself with a spare towel. Phel closed his eyes in thought, the tears trailing down silently.

“I had this conversation before, except with his parents…” he muttered, wiping himself off as well. “They…some parents try only as hard as they know, and they were not the sort who knew that they were the reason for their son’s problems.”

“How so? He wasn’t abused, was he?”

“No…just alone. Abandoned.” Phel sighed heavily, drizzling the remaining icing over the rolls. “And I know what that is like.”

Hux wanted to press for more, but then Kylo walked through the door of the apartment, throwing his coat and boots into the closet.

“Started fucking snowing again.” He snarled, flopping onto the couch with half his laundry bouncing with him at the impact. Phel wiped his eyes quickly and served two rolls on a plate, going to Kylo’s side by sitting on the coffee table.

“I take it that your newest poetry deadline was alright, since that’s only one F-bomb within 20 seconds of coming home?” Phel asked, offering the plate. Kylo opened an eye and looked at him through his mop of dark hair.

“You are the best person in the world, Taka.” He mumbled, snatching one of the cinnamon rolls. “It was ok. Snoke was pissed off that it wasn’t typed.”

“Oh? Was the library closed?”

“Snowed in. Couldn’t get in or out. So I just gave him the written version.”

Hux bit his lip in thought before joining them in the living room, though still standing off to the side.

“I have an old computer that you can have,” he said.

Both dark haired men turned to look at Hux properly, both staring as if they could not believe what they had just heard.

“Wut?” Kylo gawped.

“It’s not the newest nor the best, but it serves its purpose with Word documents and PDF files. It does have Wi-Fi capabilities, and there’s a printer that’s only compatible with that brand of laptop, so you can have that too.”

“You’re…giving it to me? _And_ the printer?”

“I don’t use it, and it’s gathering dust and taking up space. Millie just uses it as a chair or bed most of the time. And the only other person who would want it is my 15-year-old brat of a cousin, who would only use it for porn and games. I’d rather let it go to someone who would _use_ it to its purpose.”

Kylo remained shell shocked still for a few moments, but then looked down at the floor, his hair hiding his face. No one could tell his expression. Phel placed a hand on his shoulder with a soft “Kylo?”, but at the second he made physical contact, Kylo shot up, snatched the plate, and ran to the back rooms where the bedrooms were. Phel and Hux stared dubiously in the direction he went in before they heard a few crashing sounds and some colorful language. Phel looked just as confused as Hux was, so he didn’t bother asking.

Kylo stumbled out of the hall with a cookie tin in his hands, opening it as he approached.

“I don’t know if it’s enough but I’ll try and get the rest of it-“

“What are you-” Hux began but stopped when he saw all the cash that was in the tin. Kylo was grabbing a large wad of it, crumpling the paper in his fist to shove it at him when Hux pushed Kylo’s money back to him.

“I don’t want your money.”

“But I-”

“Early Christmas present, alright?” Hux cut him off. “The discussion is over.”

Kylo’s entire face was in painful disbelief, but he nodded anyways.

“O-okay…Thanks…”

Hux gave a single nod before retreating to the kitchen for a cinnamon roll, unsure why he suddenly felt warm and painfully achy in his chest, like his lungs and heart were trying to push their way out of his rib cage. A hand went to his back.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile like that before…” he heard Phel’s voice say next to him. Hux shook his head.

“There’s a first time for everything,” he replied. Phel bit his lip, glancing back to the living room.

“Kylo hasn’t looked that shocked since I gave him a place to stay free of rent duty until he got a stable income,” he murmured with a corner of his lips turning up in a gentle wistful grin.

“I suppose he is like me in that regard then,” Hux sighed, turning so he was leaning with his back against the counter.

“How so?”

“He and I are men afraid of humanity, but still crave it like ambrosia.”

Hux brought the laptop and printer over to the apartment the very next week with the help of Phasma’s arm strength. They spent an hour calmly attempting to convince Kylo that _yes_ it was his and _yes_ he could use it. Hux then showed Kylo a way to organize his files so that he could never lose a draft. Phasma brought a small external hard drive from her house for him to use in case the laptop crashed, so that nothing would be lost. That too had to be ensured over the course of three hours, and two batches of cookies that it was indeed his to keep forever.

Kylo looked absolutely pure when he was smiling, Hux discovered.

He found himself alone in the park with Kylo when Phasma and Phel banished them to wrap presents for Christmas an hour later. They wandered around the trails of the snow covered field, the lamps giving the fallen snow a halo over the entire landscape.

“How would you describe snow in your books, General?” Kylo asked, sticking out his tongue to catch a flake. Hux tried to think of a passage in which he had mentioned snow, but found he could not.

“It would depend on the mood. Snow can be a happy or sad or terrifying thing in the proper moment.”

“Now?” Kylo pressed.

“Serene chills of absolute purity crystalized in a physical form to bless the earth with wonder for all mankind,” Hux said after a moment of contemplation.

“So happy, then?”

“Face value, I suppose. Content is more what I was aiming for.” Hux paused. “How would you describe it?”

“Fallen angels that weep for their lost sons and daughters.”

“Are you sad?” Hux inquired curiously.

“I am sad all the time,” Kylo shrugged. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t be happy.”

“When are you happy?”

“When I am with my friends and Phasma. And when I am with Phel. He’s just naturally a beacon of light, you know? Untarnished by the ignorance and evil of man.”

“I see…” Hux gazed over the landscape, a thousand questions flying though his mind in a flurry of confused emotion.

“He bailed me out of prison,” Kylo said abruptly.

“What?” Hux asked, returning his gaze to his companion.

“That’s how he found me. I was in jail. For arson. I burned down my uncle’s publishing office.”

Hux was silent, enraptured by the truth that was being revealed.

“That’s why Luke and I don’t talk. It was his whole life, his passion. And I destroyed it, just as I destroyed myself. I nearly killed someone because of that fire, and that kinda woke me up from this anger I had all my life.”

Kylo kicked a little bit of snow around with his boot.

“I guess I wanted attention because I was alone, maybe it was a sick sort of revenge plot for suffering. I don’t even know anymore. But whatever it was, I got thrown in prison for it and I didn’t let my parents bail me out. They wanted to, but I didn’t let them. My fathe-”

He stopped to swallow hard.

“Han Solo, came to me and begged me to come home and that they missed me. I told him I hated him, and didn’t have the strength to come home to a family that would end up just ignoring me. My cousin, Rey, Luke’s adopted daughter, came a month later, calling me a monster, because apparently Han Solo died of a stress induced heart attack and blamed me for it. His last words were “where’s Bennie?” she said.”

“Kylo-”

“That’s why I don’t have much money,” Kylo interrupted. “I go to group and private therapy sessions, and they aren’t cheap. But they keep me stable and I feel like I belong somewhere, which is better than feeling lost and alone. That’s how I met my friends.”

_He must mean his knights._

“Do you all write your feelings down?” Hux asked.

“Yeah we each keep a journal. But I prefer to write poetry, and that’s how Snoke heard about me. Rest is history.”

Kylo sat down on a bench, not even othering to wipe off the snow first.

“How did Phel meet you?” Hux asked.

“He was a volunteer at this charity that would go to low security prisons and would interact with inmates who had chance of parole, so that when they transitioned from life behind bars to outside them, they would have a contact. Prison was oddly home to me for a while, so I depended on those walls to keep me safe. Once I was out, I can’t tell you just how scared I was…”

He lowered his head.

“A lot of the time I just wanted to die…” he murmured to the ground. Hux wiped the snow off his part of the bench and sat down, ignoring the cold of the metal.

“I too felt that way for a time.” Hux said. Kylo looked up at him, his gaze inviting him to continue.

“Typical case of coming out to your parents and they didn’t agree with it. So I received the cold boot at 15, and haven’t spoken to them in person since. Not that they were loving anyway, mind you.”

Kylo’s lips parted as Hux spoke.

“I knew my birth mother by letter only, because I am a bastard, and she agreed to let me live with her until my schooling was done. She died of cancer before I finished high school, but by then I was able to get a job and fend for myself a time. I too was angry and sad and alone.”

Hux allowed a sigh.

“But I started writing because I was also afraid; afraid of what I could become, what I _would_ become if I did not stop myself. I sent my work to a thousand publishers and got so many rejection letters at first, but I just kept sending them like Andy Dufresne from Shawshank. Eventually I got published, and then I moved and came here.”

He turned to Kylo.

“But unlike you, I tried to find solace within myself, instead of others. Which is why I don’t have friends like you do.”

Hux motioned his head back towards the apartment’s general direction.

“When I met Phel…it was more like a light clicking on instead of the world turning colorful again after being black and white. The colors were always there, but the darkness hid them from me.”

Kylo nodded slowly with his plush mouth in a gentle laugh.

“Phel has that effect of people, I will say that.” He bit his lower lip. “Same with Phas, to be honest…”

Hux turned his head to regard him properly.

“What?” he said confusedly.

“Phasma. She has the femininity of iron and the command of a military captain, but that’s sexy as fuck.”

Hux blinked.

“I would have to say her femininity is that of _chrome._ Its iridescent and reflects back yourself in the truest form.”

Kylo waved a hand in dismissal.

“So you agree?” he said.

“What?”

“That I should ask her out?”

“She’s more likely to ask _you_ out instead.”

“She digs me?” Kylo asked eagerly.

“No, I mean that she’s the kind of person to take charge in all aspects. _She_ will be the one to ask you out, she will hold open doors for you, give you her coat to keep you warm. Hell, she would be the one to get down on one knee to propose!” Hux sighed. Kylo’s expression didn’t falter.

“She’ll want to get married!?” he cried ecstatically. Hux groaned and stood up.

“You can be such a simpleton sometimes…”

“Asshole,” Kylo muttered. “I hate you.”

Hux’s lip twitched upwards.

“I know.”

They returned to the apartment at the sound of Hux’s phone going off with a text from Phel. There was an exchange of pleasantries between everyone, and promises to spend the holiday at Phel’s apartment. Hux, half embarrassed, asked if he could bring Millicent. Phel winked and promised a heist mission to get her past the landlord for the day.

Hux turned in the final draft of his third novel of his _First Order Trilogy_ , and received his contract money for another deal. Now with time for himself, he was allowed to become more serious about tackling his five-year conquest to have Phel. He didn’t know how he would approach the matter of convincing him to transition from friends to lovers, but he knew that nothing in life was easy, so it was not to be taken lightly.

Then Phel had to break his heart unknowingly.

They walked through the park as he and Kylo did but a few nights previously. The afternoon light allowed the snow to take on a low glow, and it sparkled on the trees like chandeliers of seasonal crystal.

“What is it with you and Kylo about words?” Phel asked when Hux said so.

“Excuse me?” Hux questioned.

“You both weave magic with them. I can barely describe a cat other than its color and how cute it looks.”

Hux chuckled and straightened his coat.

“Words are life, and I am but a vessel.”

“Now you sound as pompous as Kylo says,” Phel laughed. Hux smirked.

“I see that my charming act is slipping, and I must try harder to-“

“Unamo? Thanisson?” Phel interrupted. Hux arched a brow before following his line of vision to a couple walking the trail as himself and Phel were doing. They turned to regard Phel before breaking into a bright smile, waving him over. Phel did so immediately, hugging the taller man and kissing the woman’s cheek. He talked with them for a moment with a bright smile on his face, before once more kissing the woman’s cheek and returned to Hux’s confused form.

“My ex and a friend,” Phel said nonchalantly as explanation.

Hux felt himself shatter like hot glass doused in cold water, and could swear he hear it in his ears.

_His ex…the woman…_

He turned his head to watch the couple walk away, sharing a brief peck on the lips as they went. It made Hux feel even worse seeing them together.

_Phel couldn’t ever love him. Not in the way he wanted him to…_

“Hux!”

he turned again to gaze down at Phel’s concerned face.

“you look pale, are you-”

“No. I…” he swallowed, trying to hide the emotion in his voice. “I need some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow for Christmas.”

Phel searched his face as he spoke, but slowly nodded in acceptance.

“Alright…I’ll be expecting you tomorrow if you aren’t coming down with something. Let me know, alright?”

“I will.”

“you get some rest, ok?”

“I will.”

Hux was fully aware he sounded as though he were on autopilot, and if he was honest with himself, he was. The walk back from the park mirrored his thoughts as the playful snow ceased to turn into depressing rain. His eyes burned as he walked home, but did nothing as the rain soaked through his clothes and coat. When he was back in his apartment with Millicent, shivering and wet, he quickly divested himself of his clothes and began a load in the wash. Dry, wrapped in a blanket on the couch, naked, and with Millicent in his lap, Hux realized that the burning in his eyes had not abated, and neither did a different kind of rain from the one outside.

It had crossed his mind to possibly avoid Phel, but considering how _hurt_ Phel would be if he found out that he lied…

 _No, I must go. I will not let this ruin what little I have of him. I will just have to learn to appreciate what I_ do _have._

“That…is the angriest cat I have ever seen,” Phasma said upon the arrival of Hux with a second orange head peeping out from the coat. Hux rolled his eyes.

“As many would claim, but she is a dear sweetheart, aren’t you Millie?” he cooed. Phasma shuddered and grabbed a cookie from the table that was covered with plates and bowls of finger food. Hux opened his coat and allowed Millie to wander around. Phel came around the corner, and to everyone’s shock, Millie ran straight up to him and jumped right into his awaiting arms, meowing and demanding attention.

“How the holy hell?” Phasma gasped.

“Phel raised her from birth until weaned and then gave her to Hux,” Kylo said from the couch, typing on his computer. “That’s how we all met this stick up the ass.”

Hux scoffed and grabbed himself a glass of eggnog, forgoing the rum, as it was so early in the morning.

“This was one of the kittens Padme had?” Phasma asked, to which Phel nodded.

“How is Padme doing, by the by?” Hux asked Kylo, sitting in the armchair.

“She died last month from some stomach problem, but she was pretty old. Kiki was devastated though.”

“Who?”

“Her owner,” Kylo specified. “The friend that I gave her to.”

“Ah I see. How is she now, then?”

“Sad, but getting through it like we always do.”

Hux nodded.

“I’m glad to hear that she is muddling through it.”

“I have an idea.” Phasma said, sitting next to Kylo on the couch. “Why don’t we get Millicent pregnant and give one of the kittens to Kiki?”

Hux was about to gracious that he finally had a name to the girl who owned his baby’s mother, when the meaning behind the words computed in his brain.

 _“Absolutely not! My baby shall not be tarnished by some alley cat!”_ Hux screeched. Phel, Phasma, and Kylo all held their laughter for about two seconds before submitting into howling tears of hysterical glee. Millicent was not amused by the ruckus, and retreated to a high cabinet to enjoy solitude for a while; her humans were being stupidly loud, she decided.

“I hope you never have a daughter…” Phasma gasped once everyone had calmed down enough.

“Unlikely, unless I adopt,” Hux replied. “Or if _you_ have a daughter then not only will they have to worry about you ripping off any boy’s balls’ if they so much as look at her, they will have to deal with me afterwards.”

“What would _you_ do?” Phasma demanded. “You may be tall and imposing, but Phel here has more muscle mass than you.”

Hux glanced at him and saw that indeed Phel’s arms in the ugly Christmas sweater he was wearing was straining in the arms and at one point around his chest. His body may not have been a perfect “V” like Kylo’s but he was still attractive in his stockiness.

“So Phel would hold the wanker upside down while I read a Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings poem in a cockney accent. Or better yet, read him my father’s copy of his pastor’s sermons about the sins of sexual intercourse and how they should be dealt with through the fire.”

“I would pay money to see that,” Kylo muttered.

Phel chuckled as he leaned against the arm of the chair Hux was sitting in, there being no other place for him to sit. Phasma noticed and when Phel wasn’t looking, she winked at Hux, motioning for him to do something. Hux raised a brow in perplexed manner, before Phasma rolled her eyes and patted her lap with an eyebrow wiggle.

It clicked. Hux flushed crimson. Phel noticed instantly.

“Are you alright, Hux?” Phel asked, leaning towards him a little. Hux shied away at first, but stopped himself, not wishing to look as though he feared Phel’s attention. However, that sentiment was changed abruptly when Phel’s hand pressed to his forehead.

“You’re very warm. Has the snow gotten to you?”

“No.” Hux stood abruptly. “I just need a moment.”

He strolled to the bathroom to put water on his face to calm down. It worked, and within minutes, he had returned. Phel was still against the arm, only this time he was more _on_ it. Hux refused to let it affect him, and nonchalantly sat down. Phasma raised a brow.

“Phel you are too popular. We need another chair,” Kylo teased. Phel shrugged a shoulder.

“I’m fine, I assure you.”

“Can’t be too comfortable sitting against an arm of an actual chair,” Kylo continued as though he had not heard him. Hux narrowed his eyes.

“You bring your friends over and they are fine with sitting on the floor or against surfaces,” Phel sighed.

“Yes, but you are the host,” Hux butted in. “ _That_ is the critical point of the matter.”

“Mroowwww,” Millicent agreed, appearing on Hux’s lap with a purr. Phasma groaned.

“Great now she’s taken your spot, Phel.”

And with that, Hux shot up (displacing a displeased Millicent), placed his eggnog to the side, walked out of the apartment, down the stairs, and into the snow without any sort of protection against the cold, his face red with something other than the temperature. Not even a moment later, Phasma followed outside right behind him.

“You left your coat, you dumbass,” she scolded playfully. Hux glared and snatched the coat from her hands with a huff.

“You don’t understand, do you?” he snapped, shoving it around his shoulders. Her eyes widened at his tone.

“What are you talking about?” she demanded.

“I am not interested in ruining my friendship with Phel. I cannot be casual about myself being sexually attracted to him. I cannot embarrass him, especially not in his home.”

“Hux, you are overreacting-”

“I have loved him for over five _years_ , Phasma. _Five._ I am tired of looking at that gorgeous and wonderful man, _knowing_ I will be spending yet another year, and all the future years of my life with him, _wishing_ for something I cannot have. It’s like you and Kylo are in denial that it is _impossible_ for him to love me!”

“Hux-”

“I have dropped hints like one drops pennies, and I get no signal back! Then I cross paths with his ex, “What’s-Her-Face,” and it only proves what a fool I have been. How much longer can I continue to lie to myself?”

Phasma grabbed Hux by the shoulders and shook him violently.

“Hux, shut up and listen to me for one god damned minute!” she ordered.  “Unamo wasn’t his ex, _Thanisson_ was!”

Hux stared in open mouthed shock at the larger woman, who had ceased shaking him like a pair of maracas.

“ _Thanisson?_ But why was he with that wom-“

“Thanisson is _Bisexual_ , you dolt!” Phasma snapped. “Phel and he broke up under mutual agreement that they were not right for each other. No drama, no tears, no tension. Unamo was a fellow volunteer at that parole charity and Phel _introduced_ them with _intent_ of them getting together!”

Hux closed his mouth, and Phasma let go of him. He stumbled back in the white fluff that was the snow before falling onto his behind in defeat. The embarrassment settles in, causing his previous blush to stick around a little longer.

“Oh…” was all he could say from his spot in the frigidly wet seat. Phasma scoffed in disgust.

“Honestly, you are as bad as Kylo; flying off the handle at the stupidest shit all because of some thoughtless misunderstanding. You didn’t even bother to _ask_ did you?”

“I know, I know, I am an idjit,” Hux snarled, his Irish roots lacing into his speech though his annoyance as he stood up. “Tell me something that _doesn’t_ further my sad position, if you would not mind.”

“Phel loves everyone.”

“He’s pan?” Hux asked, brushing his coat off. Phasma took a swipe at him, but he dodged.

“No, you dumbass! He just loves everyone!”

At Hux’s unamused look, Phasma elaborated further.

“He is so trusting and understanding that he hardly has ever said a negative word about anyone, unless he had full reason to.”

“That can be a problem,” he muttered.

“ _Precisely_ ,” Phasma grinned triumphantly, though it was wiped away by Hux’s next statement.

“I do not follow.”

Phasma rolled her eyes before grabbing his shoulders in a straight grip.

“You are his common sense. You are the person who sees with logic, while he is more likely to use his emotions. See what I am getting at?”

Hux paused to think on it for a moment.

“In other words, he is the right side of the brain, and I am the left,” he finally said, Phasma nodding with pride.

“Everyone needs that in a relationship. You can protect him from people who want to take advantage of his kindness -and _trust me,_ people _have-_ while _he_ gives you a reason to be a better person than this asshole façade you got going.”

Hux blinked before allowing himself a warm look towards the window of Phel’s apartment. The owner himself was leaning against the frame, looking down at the pair. He lifted a hand in a small wave, and Hux returned it, no longer feeling the cold of the snow

“Kylo was right. He _is_ the light.”

Returning to the apartment was a calming affair, Hux feeling lighter and friendlier (that being he teased Kylo immensely with snarky comments from his hair to his nail polish). Phel noticed immediately and seemed pleased that he was more himself.

“Phasma lifted your spirits, then?” he asked when she and Kylo opted to fetch the Christmas cards. Hux nodded, drinking more eggnog.

“Cleared a misunderstanding,” was all he offered. Phel hummed before snatching a cookie.

“That misunderstanding coming from our walk the other day?”

Hux felt his stomach drop, but Phel continued.

“You were different after we met Thanisson and Unamo…” he muttered with a knowing smile. “Anything to do with that?”

“I…” Hux was surprisingly saved from embarrassment on that front, by _another_ form of shame.

“ _AJ!?”_ Kylo screeched from the door as he burst inside. “your non-biological mother calls you _AJ_!?”

Hux clutched his glass so tightly he feared it would break.

“I told her not to call me that anymore…” he hissed under his breath. Phel chuckled.

“Armitage Jarrus…” Phasma mused. “Imagine when you were trouble... ‘AJ, you come down this instant! Just you wait till your father gets home!’”

“My father was given a more regrettable name,” Hux sighed, rolling his eyes. “ _Brendol_. I suppose he was trying to diffuse his humiliation by passing it to me.”

“Nah, AJ is more stupid,” Kylo decided, tossing him a Christmas card. The mother at least _attempted_ to be cordial to him, though she was hardly a warm and fuzzy person.

Hux smirked, a strange expression for someone as proud as him who was being teased.

“Not as stupid as being originally named _Obi-Wan_. What is that, a Chinese noodle dish?”

With Hux and Kylo bickering, Phel getting between them when it was most needed, Phasma drinking more rum than eggnog with a smirk on her face, and Millicent glaring at everyone with contempt, everything went back to a normal Christmas.

By the end of the day, Kylo carried Phasma’s sleeping form back to her own apartment, leaving Hux, Phel, and Millicent alone in Phel’s. Millie was asleep in a pile of Kylo’s abandoned laundry, and Hux secretly hoped that her long hairs would plague him forever. Phel joined Hux on the couch with a plate of cinnamon rolls.

“I hid these just in case,” he said, setting it down on the coffee table.

“Phel, you are marvelous,” Hux sighed as he took one. “Though if you keep this up, I am afraid I shall lose my waist.”

“Perhaps that was my plan; fatten you and Kylo up.”

“What of Phasma?”

“Oh she is in on the plan as well with her café of sweets and sugary coffee.”

“ _I knew it._ _That’s_ why you never wish to meet anywhere else…”

Phel turned nervous.

“O-oh, well if you wanted to we could go somewhere else for a-”

“I am merely teasing, Phel. If you only want to go to Phasma’s café, it is more than alright. We _have_ been doing this for five years…”

“No I just thought if I asked you to dinner, it would seem too…intimate.”

Hux felt his heart sink, but steeled his expression to remain light and friendly.

“At first, perhaps. But it has been five years, no? It’s not as though we can’t go for a meal without being adult friends.”

“I suppose…” Phel looked down at the floor. Hux cocked a brow.

“Something wrong?” he asked. Phel was silent before lifting his gaze, running his teeth over his bottom lip nervously.

“Hux, I actually want-”

“ _Phasma friend zoned me!_ ” Kylo shouted, bursting through the door of the apartment. Phel leapt away from Hux, making the latter realize how close they had been sitting. He gave the nastiest glare he could at Kylo, but the larger man wasn’t paying attention. Instead he threw himself onto the armchair with a wail. Phel was by his side in an instant, comforting him with gentle reassurances that Phasma was tired and was not in the mood to be wooed.

“Or perhaps she doesn’t want to be with you and you need to move on,” Hux growled, standing. Kylo sat up with murder in his eyes.

“You said not too long ago that she digged me!”

“ _No,_ I said that she is the type of woman who wants to be the one to ask someone out,” Hux corrected snidely. “I.e. on her _own_ terms and not when some poor sap decides to beg for her. Not that she was interested in _you_.”

“ _Hux_!” Phel cried in a mixture of disbelief and hurt. “That was hardly appropriate!”

“You are a _bastard_ ,” Kylo spat. Hux shrugged, snatching his coat from the hall.

“Quite so,” he agreed with a clipped voice. “But we all knew that I am not a nice person. Obviously you needed to be reminded of that. I have grown soft, apparently.”

“Hux…” Phel seemed to back away, faltering.

“I knew you were an ass, Hux…” Kylo stood up from his seat, his eyes darker than anything Hux had ever witnessed. “But I never thought you were _cruel_.”

Hux rolled his eyes and scooped up Millicent into his arms, once more hiding her into his coat.

“We all have to wake up sometime. I’m sorry it had to be Christmas.”

He didn’t bother to look at them as he left the apartment, not wanting to see either of their betrayed faces. He felt Millie squirm against him angrily, but he held fast as they descended down the stairs and out into the cold once more.

“Hux!”

As he moved through the snow, he grew more and more remorseful about how he had acted. Instead of being proud of his attitude towards them, he was guilty for being the cause of such pain. Normally, he would not care in the slightest. He was well known to push people away when either he or anyone else had been kind to him for too long. But in this moment, as he practically was running away from the mess he made, he felt more and more angry at himself.

“Hux! I know you can hear me!”

And just _why_ had he done it? Because Kylo came in at the wrong time? Not like that was anything irregular. Perhaps it was because he felt like Phel was about to say something important. Something that could set the ball running as he wanted it to.

_POOFFT!_

Something cold, wet, and powdery smacked Hux at the back of his head, causing the ball to explode and water to melt into his sweater. He whirled around with a hand on the back of his head, an insult on his tongue. But it died as soon as he saw who was coming after him.

“Phel?” he called weakly.

The smaller man, the person of Hux’s desires, was running after him in the knee deep snow, scooping more into his bare hands as he approached.  After molding it into another ball, he threw it hard at Hux, smacking into his shoulder harshly in another shower of snow. Millicent escaped Hux’s grip with a yowl in an effort to get away from the barrage. Hux was too dazed to notice.

“You, _ass!_ ” Phel yelled into the cold, throwing another snowball. Hux barely dodged it.

“I-”

“No, let me talk!” Phel interrupted him, picking up more snow and throwing it at him, no longer making proper snowballs.

“You can’t just say something like that and expect me to let you fucking walk away!” he scolded, his face scrunched up in frustration as he continued to try and burry Hux in snow. So far, all it did was cover him haphazardly and make him very wet under his coat.

“No, you are going to clean up the shit storm you made! I told you when we first met that I have to live with him and you _can’t_ rile up my house!”

Phel was in a rage, something that Hux had never witnessed before. It was almost terrifying how Phel was losing his normally calm demeanor, and losing his control. Hux didn’t know how to respond. Was this why Kylo never riled Phel up? Because Phel was terrifying when he was angry?

“And you think I am just going to let you walk away angry and sad with yourself? I know that men like you are scared by people like me but I am not letting you go! I’ve known you too long for that!”

The more Hux stared at Phel, the more he realized something was amiss. That something caused a spark within him to ignite a wildfire. It burned into an inferno that raged deep inside of his chest, an ache that would not be settled any longer.

With that, Hux crashed his lips into Phel’s silencing him instantly.

It was sweet from all the sugar they had eaten, but harsh and bitter from the accidental teeth clacking. At one point, Phel bit his lip accidentally. Regardless, neither of them pulled away, but rather couldn’t get close enough. Hux was leaning so far over Phel that they were bent backwards in an awkward angle, unable to allow themselves to break apart.

“I don’t like it when you cry, Phel…” Hux managed out when he had to take a breath. Phel let out a whimper before pulling him back into another kiss. Hux could feel Phel trying to stop himself from sobbing by kissing him.

He took Phel’s hand and pulled him in the direction his own empty apartment, determined to never be the cause of Phel’s tears again. All the way home, he kept Phel warm.

Millicent stared with snobbish distaste from a park bench before following them, obviously wondering why humans take so long to mate.

 

* * *

 

 

**_ Epilogue _ **

“You don’t have to read it, Phel,” Hux muttered as his dark haired lover held the brand new hardcover close to his chest as he exited the booksellers.

“I want to,” Phel argued. “Stop talking as though it were a chore to do so, Tage.”

“It is,” Hux insisted, walking in front of Phel with the joint purpose to look at him properly as well as slow his pace down. It worked, as of Phel stopped walking altogether.

“You never let me read a single sentence of this book when you were working on it, and yet it’s subject is _us,”_ he pointed out to his taller boyfriend. Hux groaned exasperatingly.

“It is wildly inaccurate, as of most of it was written before we became an item.”

“I don’t care,” Phel insisted.

“Phel _,_ these are the ramblings of an obsessed _lunatic_ crazed with want of every kind.”

Hux was now practically begging, but Phel obviously wasn’t giving in.

“And yet you published it. You would never do so unless you at least _liked_ it.”

“That was _before_ you bought it.”

“Did you honestly think I would _not?_ ” Phel asked incredulously.

“I had hoped you would be disinterested.”

“Finn was your test reader, and he would not stop _swooning_ to me about it.”

Hux snarled.

“Traitor!”

Phel rolled his eyes, obviously growing tired of the disagreement.

“Tage, please…”

Hux groaned exasperatingly at the sight of his tired sadness, his arms snaking around Phel gently and resting his chin on top of the dark curls that were slicked back in an orderly cut.

“I have every word memorized because I tweaked it so much to achieve perfection…”

Phel moved away partially to grant him with the gentlest of smiles, the one that Hux knew was reserved for him, and him only.

“Then be proud of it, and be confident that I will love it.”

Hux pulled the scarf around Phel’s neck straighter, studying the face that it was protecting with the utmost reverence. His hands lingered there, reluctant to let go of him.

“ _Five years is a long time to be in love_ ,” Hux murmured from memory of the first words of his book, kissing Phel’s eyebrow. His hands slid upwards to cup his jaw.

“ _As many a person claims with self-satisfaction (or dare we go as far as designating,_ distaste), _that it is with much unoriginal imagination, that one pens a tale on a subject so petty as_ love…”

He leaned down to rest his forehead against Phel’s enjoying the blurred sight of his lover’s eyes fluttering closed as he listened to the opening lines of the novel in his hands.

 “ _…I take a breath before I defend myself to recall that I am a recent convert of that very same impression…”_

Hux pressed further so that his more angular nose brushed against Phel’s smaller one, their breath ghosting over their lips with a teasing.

“ _An impression that reveals how miserable my life was before I laid eyes on_ him...”

“You two are gross!” Kylo’s voice butted in from across the street, a coffee from Phasma’s café in his hand with a ten-digit number penned in sharpie on the side and a very distinct “call me ;)”.

Hux made a very rude gesture in Kylo’s general direction, but that didn’t stop him from claiming Phel’s laughing lips at last.

 


End file.
